Pastor’s Wives

Welcome to The Hope of Survivors Pastors’ Wives’ Division. Can we help you? Please keep reading to learn whether our client support services would be a blessing for you.

What has just happened?
As pastors’ wives, most of us naturally expect our opportunity to share in our husband’s pastoral ministry to present an assortment of joys and challenges.

Yet few of us are prepared for that shared ministry to become stained or shattered by our husband’s choices to surrender to sin. We may find ourselves alone, blindsided, despairing, and isolated in bearing the agonizing knowledge and enduring the devastating effects of his compromised conduct.

What has he done? What is he doing? Whatever the specifics, his wrong-spirited actions make a mockery of his calling to be a shepherd! He may be abusing you or your children; he may have abused a member(s) of the congregation; he may be stealing funds from the church; he may have developed a substance addiction; he may have become unfaithful to you, including through porn; or he may be guilty of some other form of pastoral misconduct.

How could a pastor do that? How can he be like that?
Shockingly, recent statistics suggest that as many as 60% of pastors admit to having struggled with pornography. And these numbers reflect only one category of pastoral misconduct!

We understand your situation, and we are here for you. Although each of our experiences are individual and unique, our Hope of Survivors Pastors’ Wives’ volunteers have been “in your shoes” as pastor’s wives themselves, and we are honored to come alongside you, offering spiritual and emotional support at your request.

What can you expect from The Hope of Survivors?
Upon receiving your request, a Pastors’ Wives’ representative will call or email you to make your acquaintance and to learn how best we can assist you in your navigation of these overwhelming and confusing events. That person, or another Pastors’ Wives’ volunteer, will become your client support representative.

In serving you, our most immediate priority will always be your personal safety and that of your family. However, except in cases where divorce is the only legal option for preserving the safety of minor children, we will not attempt to sway your very personal decision of which long-term marital outcome to pursue: remaining legally married (although perhaps physically separated), becoming legally separated, or ending your marriage through divorce.

Your client support representative will strive to offer heartening Biblically-based emotional and spiritual support during this difficult time; she will listen with an empathetic and understanding ear to your fears, frustrations, and concerns; she may assist you in locating useful resources specific to your needs; she may share helpful insights gained from her own experience or from the experiences of others; she will encourage you always toward our Light, the One who will carry you beyond the end of this terrible tunnel; she will lead you to comforting passages of Scripture, and she will pray with you.

Whenever you confide in us, the THOS team takes great care to protect and maintain your confidentiality—unless, of course, you give us specific written permission for disclosure, or you choose to share information of a nature which requires mandatory reporting.

What does The Hope of Survivors not offer?
We regret that we are not equipped to offer financial assistance to our clients. Similarly, we are not equipped to serve as a suicide or crisis hot line.

We fully recognize that all pastors are fallible human beings. However, we cannot enable, nor can we support, any course of action which shields any pastor from the appropriate consequences of his own pastoral misconduct.

Can we help you?
We would love to! We will consider coming alongside you to be an honor and a privilege. Please connect with us through the Contact Us page.

May we also recommend to you our short article What Should I Do?