What Can the Husband Do?

As the husband you will, very likely, be confused and angry while trying to process the situation from both perspectives. Not only do you feel the effects of betrayal from your wife and the pastor, you will, most likely, have great difficulty understanding the dynamics of the relationship.

What you can do:

1. Recognize that God has ordained you to be the spiritual leader.
2. Ask God for strength and wisdom
3. Understand that you hold the keys to helping your wife see Christ in you.
4. Don’t let the pastor destroy you or your marriage. Don’t give him that power!

This is a time for you, as the husband, to stand for your wife’s honor and reputation.

Because of the circumstances surrounding the relationship, you most likely could not prevent the situation from happening (this may be hard for you as a man to accept), but now that your wife is confiding in you about what happened, this shows her desire to restore herself to you and to seek healing in your marriage. Now is the time to have the mind of Christ.

No one can or should try to minimize the hurt and pain you feel. But only God can heal you and your marriage. It is His will for you to represent Him to your wife by showing His love to her with kind words and actions. You, by God’s grace, have the ability to help bring healing to your wife from the terrible devastation the pastor caused. When you reach out to help her heal, God will also bring healing to your life.

As God begins to heal and restore your marriage, you can, through His wisdom and power, learn how to build a stronger and healthier marriage. This will not be a quick process, but as you draw close to Him, He will draw you closer to each other.

It is important to always recognize that this was NEVER God’s will for you to suffer this way. While the pastor has misrepresented Christ to you and your wife, it is God’s desire for you to now properly represent Him. You now have a choice to make. You can choose to let God heal you, or you can let the pastor destroy your life.

Remember: Ask God for strength and wisdom, He will bring you through this, He has promised to, and He never fails!

Still Confused? Review our 4 Major Imbalances section for additional helpful information.